home | site map | privacy policy |
|
Managing Monsters in Meetings - Part 7, Personal Attacks
Personal attacks hurt people, mar communication, and end creativity. If they become part of a meeting's culture, they drive the participants into making safe and perhaps useless contributions. Approach 1: Speak to the group Set the stage for the group to enforce its culture by making a general comment. Look at the middle of the group and say: "Just a moment. Let's pause here to calm down. I can tell we're upset about this. And we want to find a fair solution for everyone." (Take slow deep breaths and relax to model calming down.) After saying this, pause a moment to let the group respond. Often, someone else will support your request. Then continue as if everything were normal. Avoid looking at the attacker when speaking to the group. Making eye contact acknowledges and returns power to the attacker. Approach 2: Explore for the cause Sometimes people throw insults from behind a fence of presumed safety. You can disrupt this illusion by saying: "Chris, you seem upset with that." "Pat, you seem to disagree." "You seem to have reservations about this." I realize these statements may sound like naive responses to an insult. However, such understated responses improve the situation because they sound less threatening, feel easier to deliver, and preserve the other person's self-esteem. Realize the attacker may have viewed the attack less seriously than it sounded. These statements also transfer the focus from the target to the attacker's feelings. And this is what you need to talk about in order to resolve the dispute. After you speak, continue to look at the attacker and wait for the person to talk about what caused the attack. If the attack continues, interrupt with: "Excuse me, we need to respect each other. And I wonder what makes you feel upset over this." "Excuse me, we heard that. Now, what makes you feel that way?" "Excuse me, I'm interested in hearing what your concerns are." Approach 3: Call a break If verbal approaches fail to end the attacks, then call a break or end the meeting. This will give you a chance to meet privately with the attacker, rewrite the agenda, rebuild communication, and (if appropriate) schedule another meeting without the attacker. You could say, "We seem to be at an impasse. I want to take a break so we can all calm down." "This hostility makes it impossible to get any work done. So, I'm adjourning the meetings. We'll work on this later and then reconvene at another time." Note that some people use anger to force others to cooperate with them. If you adjourn the meeting, you will have to meet with the attacker to resolve the conflict. "We need to work on this outside of the meeting. So let's adjourn." Use these techniques to restore a safe environment to your meeting. Meetings are a forum for finding solutions, making decisions, and reaching agreements. When you apply these approaches to disruptions, you will maintain the productive environment necessary to accomplish your goals. This is the seventh of a seven part article on Managing Monsters in Meetings. - - - - - - - - IAF Certified Professional Facilitator and author Steve Kaye works with leaders who want to hold effective meeting. His innovative workshops have informed and inspired people nationwide. His facilitation produces results that people will support. Sign up for his free newsletter at http://www.stevekaye.com. Call 714-528-1300 or visit his web site for over 100 pages of valuable ideas.
Leadership is best defined by the quality of your thoughts, decisions and actions. It is also underpinned by the quality of the tools you use in your role. Be seen to bring true leadership to your organization and act with the authority that it brings to you.
MORE RESOURCES: New Senate Leadership Tussle Is a Throwback to the Old Days The New York Times Women with leadership roles in religion ABC Action News Tampa Bay Chad Blair: A Speech On Leadership Sparks A Social Media Backlash Honolulu Civil Beat 25 journalists selected to participate in Emerging News Leadership inaugural cohort - Newmark J-School Craig Newmark Graduate School of Journalism at CUNY Provost's Office to change leadership structure to align work with Marquette 2031 strategic plan; acting roles ... Marquette Today Kennesaw State first in Georgia to offer master's in teacher and educational leadership Kennesaw State University Cannon AFB Women's Leadership Symposium committee hosts capstone event for Women's History cannon.af.mil Midland County Youth Leadership to be held April 4-5 Midland Daily News Defining public leadership. Championing public service Harvard Kennedy School Graham Company announces leadership changes Insurance Business Unapologetic Leadership Thought: Freedom Dreaming Diverse: Issues in Higher Education The Impact of Servant Leadership on Proactive Service Behavior: a Moderated Mediation Model - BMC Psychology BMC Psychology Women's History Month highlight: Fran Karivalis, Leadership 100 - Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America RNZAF leadership get first-hand look at team's training Little Rock Air Force Base Women's History Month Highlight: Dina Theodosakis, Leadership 100 - Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America ACV Auctions supporting women leadership Buffalo News Easter celebrates a sovereign laying down his rights and dying. Now there’s a lesson. | Opinion Lexington Herald Leader ESPN: Steph Curry's Leadership of Draymond Green Questioned by 'High-Level' Insiders Bleacher Report Salvation Army Corps welcomes new leadership - The Suffolk News-Herald Suffolk News-Herald Genesee County recognizes the 'value women bring to leadership' during Women's History Month The Batavian New RTC Leadership Elected Greenwich Sentinel Bob Gauthier honored for lifetime of leadership Polson Lake County Leader PCPS BPA Students Attend State Leadership Conference Ponca City Now Brightly Expands Leadership Team Yahoo Finance Calling on Courageous Leadership Like Pedro Ruiz, MD Psychiatric Times Women Face Uphill Battle in Progress and Leadership Development Spiceworks News and Insights Yesh Atid holds first leadership vote — with Lapid widely expected to maintain power The Times of Israel Patty Evers in Women's Leadership Spotlight - BladenOnline.com Bicycle Leadership Conference is not all suppliers Bicycle Retailer VOICES: Lessons about leadership at Trotwood-Madison High blood drive Dayton Daily News A Half-Century of Leadership and Innovation with the Girl Scouts Points of Light Foundation Justin Dyer named Dean of School of Civic Leadership The Daily Texan eXp Realty Expands Executive Team With Key Human Resources and Technology Leadership Appointments Yahoo Finance Producing Tomorrow's Producers: Leadership Strategies in Modern Production | LBBOnline Little Black Book - LBBonline Why Biden, Macron and More Leaders Have Low Approval Ratings The New York Times Girl Scouts honor Jericho resident for leadership The Jericho Syosset News Journal Profiles in 4-H Leadership | Farm Home Garden | huntingdondailynews.com huntingdondailynews.com Passing the torch: Three Sacramento arts organizations navigate leadership transitions • Sacramento News & Review Sacramento News & Review US Southern Command general shares leadership advice with next generation United States Army NRG Announces Changes in Leadership Yahoo Finance Pushed into Leadership, Hung Out to Dry - Non Profit News Nonprofit Quarterly ‘Eyes of the world on us’: Boeing shakes up leadership amid safety crisis Al Jazeera English Registration is open for the Women's Leadership Conference at Montana State on May 20 Montana State University Food Lion's sustainable leadership achieves ongoing national recognition | Produce News The Produce News Pelago Announces $58 Million Series C Funding to Strengthen Leadership in Substance Use Management Yahoo Finance Task Force recommends new leadership for S&WB, citing overdue change FOX 8 Local First GALLERY: Maryville Middle School Leadership Day | Gallery | Maryville Forum The Maryville Forum April Sells Selected for FEMA Leadership Program Indian Gaming Bain Capital Elevates David Gross as Part of Leadership Transition The Wall Street Journal Leadership Shelby County to host golf tournament - Shelby County Reporter Shelby County Reporter Weakened House GOP majority reckons with Johnson's leadership The Washington Post Women's Leadership Conference planned for April 4 | Announcements | jonesborosun.com - Jonesboro Sun Accendo equips women for success in leadership WKMG News 6 & ClickOrlando Softball Game Preview: Combs Coyotes vs. American Leadership Academy - Gilbert North Eagles MaxPreps Boeing CEO Dave Calhoun to step down in leadership shake-up The Seattle Times |
RELATED ARTICLES
UNCLOS III Process model The United Nations Conference on Law of the Sea was ground breaking in the way negotiations were conducted. Several strategies were employed that allowed for efficient negotiation and a reasonable outcome as viewed by all participating parties. Get What You Want - Negotiating Skills for the Timid! OK, I know this title sounds self-serving and hard nosed, but the article isn't! Whether it's buying a car, asking for a pay rise, saying 'no' to a friend or renting an apartment - at some stage in our lives we all are going to need to know how to negotiate. Yet, so few of us know the basic skills before embarking on life changing purchases or decisions!This article is written for those TIMID folk who want to feel more confident in the basic skills of negotiating. Value Driver Leadership CHAPTER 1************VALUEThose qualities regarded by a person or group as important and desirable of standards and principlesWhat is value driven leadership? Have you ever considered having a value driven leadership team? Or even a team driven by values and not a team having to be driven by the leader? That thought alone made me consider looking into the way I ran my teams and how I could do things better; this is the driving force behind writing this book. When you think about it, in everything we do as individuals or a team we should always be 'values driven' not impulse or need driven! If we are driven by values then we will always have a "why" in everything we do, and then we will do what we do with everything that is in us, come hell or high water (test, trials, pressure, set back or circumstances). Learn How to Lead People "Who rules or guides or inspires others"Having excellent guide skills is one of the most importantabilities to possess in today's fast-paced world. We need thesupport and cooperation of other people to help us in reachingour goals. Steps to Becoming a Good Leader STEPS TO BECOMING A GOOD LEADER: 1. Develop a master plan. Reveal the Leader Within A Leader is not a certain type of person or position of power. It is not the one at the top of the golf leader board at any specific time or the person at the top of an organisation. Leadership Challenges: The Walls In Our Lives We have all experienced walls or challenges in our work lives. How you handle the walls may be a defining point in your leadership and your career. Embracing Adversity for Achievement "Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I'll show you someone who has overcome adversity." -- Lou HoltzSuccess in life depends upon being strong people with clear goals and indomitable spirits. Pure Discipline General George S. Patton was born on November 11, 1885 on his fathers ranch and vineyard in Los Angeles County over what is today the city of Pasadena and much of the UCLA campus. The Compassion Paradox Effective leaders are comfortable with paradox. They can call on skills and work in ways that seem to be contradictory. Characteristics of a Good Leader It's interesting to hear the responses from executives when I ask them, "What are the characteristics of a good Leader?"If I ask that question in a large room of executives, or even upper level managers the answers will be all over the map, and many are conflicting.A couple of the usual answers are:A leader is someone that empowers those working for him to make their own decisions. All You Really Want Is Feeling Good If I asked you what your goal in life is, what would you answer? Well, the answer would be as diversified as people are.Many will answer that making money is the primary goal. Character -- Why It Matters In Leaders "Character is much easier kept than recovered." -Thomas Paine"The best index to a person's character is (a) how he treats people who can't do him any good, and (b) how he treats people who can't fight back. Take the Road Less Traveled "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,I took the one less traveled by,And that has made all the difference."- Robert FrostI watched Leni Riefenstahl's Triumph of the Will, a very controversial film on Hitler's 1934 Nuremberg Rally put on by equally controversial Toronto film connoisseur, Reg Hartt, at the Cineforum (a make-shift theatre in his home). Lessons In Leadership: What Not To Do... From A Canoe! When it comes to fishing, my husband takes the lead. But his lack of leadership ability in a recent canoe trip on the Boundary Waters in Northern Minnesota offered wonderful lessons on how leaders can unknowingly screw up. Leadership and Change in a Holographic Universe Have you ever noticed that since the early part of the 20th century, nearly every new scientific theory manages to sound more and more like the same sort of metaphysical philosophies science once dismissed? Well, it's happening again and this time our views on the structure of the universe, the power of human consciousness and even the nature of reality itself are being challenged by a startling new finding: that many hard to explain events and scientific puzzles become suddenly clear and easily understood if we consider that everything we see and experience around us is not in fact a physical reality, but rather our own interpretation of an infinitely large, dynamic and multidimensional hologram, constructed by and interpreted through our own consciousness.Most people are familiar with the concept of a graphic hologram - an image imprinted on a special film that, when illuminated with a certain type of laser, projects a 3-dimensional picture that you can view from any angle. Unleash It! On airplanes, in restaurants, in the newspaper and on television, I often hear people saying their businesses are not growing to their satisfaction or that they are not reaching their objectives. The explanations that follow consist of reasons like: ?It's the economy?Our customers don't get it?I don't have the right people on the team I could go on, and so could you. Make The Elephant Jump -- Leading With A Kind Heart Leadership is not about getting people to do what they want. If they did what they want, you wouldn't be needed as a leader. Managing Monsters in Meetings - Part 4, Quiet Participants There are many reasons why someone would decline to participate during a meeting. For example, the person may feel reluctant to speak out, may disagree with the approach endorsed by others in the meeting, or may just be tired. Business Leadership: How Much is in Your Credibility Bank Account? Business leaders have more than a title on their doors. They also have the trust and confidence of those who work for them; who work with them; and who buy from them. |
|
© 2016 Definition Of Leadership & Career Consulting Limited |